Season of Storms
Chapter One
*December*
Marissa ran her fingertips over the door, until they touched the cold brass of the knob. She clasped her hand around it and twisted, slowly opening the door-- then paused.
~Your boy's back in trouble
and he needs you right away
She says she's gonna leave me, Momma
Nothing on God's green earth
can make her stay
I can't live without her, Momma
And this time you can't kiss the hurt away But if I'm so much like my dad
there must have been times you felt her way~
She sighed as she closed the door behind her and walked into the office. She could hear a pen scratching on paper and knew that Gary was writing something; but right now, she wasn't concerned with that. She wanted that infernal racket to stop.
She began running her fingers over the desk, feeling for the radio.
"What are you doing?" Gary asked, his voice deep and raspy.
Marissa's fingers found the radio and tried to turn it off.
~So tell me word for word
what he said, that always made you stay~
Impatience set in, and Marissa grasped the cord and yanked it from the wall socket.
Gary ducked as the cord narrowly missed his head.
"Do you mind telling me what your problem is?" he demanded as he pushed the chair away from the desk and stood.
"My problem is--I'm sick and tired of hearing this..this cryin' in my beer, my woman left me........*crap*, you've been listening to--non stop. I can't take it anymore, Gary. And so help me, if I hear one more song....."
"You'll what?" he snarled at her.
Marissa clamped her mouth shut at the venom in his voice, and blinked her eyes.
Gary tore the check out of the book and stuffed it in an envelope and scribbled a name on top, before gathering the stack of them and shoving them into Marissa's hands.
"Here are the pay checks," he said gruffly, before he turned and walked toward the stairs to his loft.
"Gary, where are you going?"
"Upstairs. That way you won't have to make good on your threat."
"Gary!" Her call fell on deaf ears.
He shut the door to the loft and looked around the room. He was upset. Hell, he was downright mad. He wanted to hit something, or just scream at the top of his lungs. Anything--anything but cry, which is what he felt very close to doing.
He walked over to the stereo and flipped it on.
~Dim the lights, lock the door
spread your pictures on the floor
blow the dust off of our past
let it all come flooding back
Cause it ain't easy being strong
when I can't forget you're gone
I just surrender
and have myself a night to remember~
He turned the stereo off. He was tired of remembering. He was tired of being alone and miserable. He was tired--just tired, and at the end of his rope. He'd really messed up this time and there was no going back. No way he could make her understand. He didn't understand. He should have gone after her. He knew that now. But now it was too late.
The phone rang and Gary answered. "Hello? Bailey, uh, uh hi, uh." He stopped speaking and a frown creased his brow.
"I see," he said, his voice filled with resignation. "Would you at least let me try to explain? I know, but I just thought, uh that maybe," he paused as he sat down on the sofa. "So this is it? This is what you really want?"
~*~*~*~
"Yes, it's what I want. I'll be contacting an attorney on Monday. Good bye, Gary."
Bailey set the phone down without even pushing the button. The numbness she felt permeated her whole body. She had hoped to feel a bit more relieved, once she'd made the phone call to Gary. It wasn't like she cared. No, that wasn't true, she did care and it hurt that Gary didn't. He had moved on with his life and now she'd have to move on with her's.
She drummed her fingers nervously on the table. She was wound tighter than an eight day clock and she had to do something or she would start to cry. And if she did that, she'd never stop. With a sigh, she grabbed her coat and checked that the tiny wallet on her key chain contained money, then headed out the door.
~*~*~*~
Gary returned the phone to it's cradle and ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "What was I thinking?" he asked out loud as he stood and walked towards the kitchen area.
"Meow!"
He looked down to see the cat sitting on the floor, looking up at him.
"What? You're not mad at me anymore?"
The cat dropped his head slightly as he continued to stare.
A twinge of guilt needled Gary. Nobody wanted to be around him lately. Not even the cat.
"Meow!" The cat repeated before he began to carefully make his way towards Gary.
Gary eyed the cat suspiciously as he jumped up on the table and pawed at the paper.
Ignoring the cat, he pulled out his billfold and looked at the picture of Bailey and him, and despite his best intentions, he began to remember.
Chapter Two
~Late June, earlier the same year~
"I probably won't be home for a couple more hours. I'll just grab a bite to eat here," Gary spoke into the phone.
"Oh," Bailey replied, rather glumly.
"What's up?" Gary wanted to know.
Bailey twisted her hair, nervously. "Oh, nothing really. I was just hoping you could come home early tonight. I missed you today," she finished, dropping her voice.
The way she said it, sent chills coursing through Gary's body.
"I'll see what I can do." Gary hung up the phone and hurried through the stack of paper work.
~*~*~*~
Bailey tucked Gene into bed, before she went to her bathroom where she showered and changed into a pale pink satin chemise. She piled her hair loosely on her head, then went into the bedroom to check the bottle chilling in the ice bucket and light a couple of candles. When that was done, she placed some CD's in the player and programmed the songs she wanted played.
*Knock-knock*
She turned to see Gary, leaning against the door frame, smiling.
"How long have you been there?" she asked, returning his smile.
"Not long," he answered as he crossed his arms.
"You're earlier than I expected," she said, breathlessly.
"I hurried. My wife missed me today."
She walked over to him and placed her hands on his arms. "Yes, she did."
Gary straightened and uncrossed his arms.
"What's all this for?" he asked as he motioned his hand towards the candles and ice bucket.
She shrugged her shoulders. "I thought it would be romantic."
"Any moment I spend alone with you, is romantic," he whispered before he stepped away from her--enjoying teasing her--making her wait. "Looks like you did things up pretty special. A new nightgown," he said as he ran his eyes over her appreciatively. "candles, music and........" His voice dropped off as he pulled the bottle from the bucket. "Sparkling cider? No champagne?"
Bailey twisted her wedding ring nervously. "No champagne."
"What? Are you pregnant?" he teased.
She raised her eyebrows and looked at him expectantly.
"You're pregnant," he repeated, this time as a statement, not a question.
She nodded her head and smiled.
He dropped the bottle back in the bucket and walked over to her and placed his hands on either side of her face. "You're sure?"
"Mmm, hmm. I went to the doctor today. I'm about 8 weeks along."
Gary didn't say anything. His eyes and smile told her everything she needed to know. Gently, he tilted her face. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.
Bailey sighed as she tipped her head further back and leaned in to his body. She slid her hands up his chest and into his hair, where they caressed the silken strands.
Gary slowly moved his lips from hers, to kiss her chin, then over to the spot just below her ear, that gave her goose bumps. A soft moan escaped her lips before he stepped away and began to unbutton his shirt.
He discarded the shirt and she stepped forward and grasped the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. She placed her mouth on his shoulder and gently nibbled at the skin there, before making her way to his neck.
Gary placed his hand behind her head and guided her lips to his where he began to kiss her, ever so slowly. She wrapped her arms around him, mostly to keep from melting under the sweet torture of his kisses.
Suddenly he backed away from her. His gaze intent as his hand drifted from her neck, down her chest and across her stomach. Slowly he knelt down and placed his mouth on her abdomen as he ran his hands up her thighs and under the hem of her nightgown. The satin rustled softly as he raised it to her waist, so that his lips could touch her bare skin there.
Fire rushed through Bailey's body and joy filled her heart. Together they had created another life.
Gary stood, and as he did, brought the nightgown over Bailey's head and tossed the garment to the floor. Calloused hands roamed over soft skin, causing her body to tremble.
Gary picked her up and gently laid her on the bed, before he quickly discarded the rest of his clothing and crawled into bed with her and took her in his arms.
Chapter Three
Gary pulled his jeep into the drive and shut the engine off, then he grabbed the bags from the seat and got out of the vehicle. He was glad Marissa had urged him to hire Chuck back at McGinty's. It had worked out well for everyone. It lightened Marissa's load and gave Gary more time at home with his family. And even afforded him moments like this, when he could stop by during the day, just to say hello.
He entered the house and noticed how quiet it was. He cocked his head, listening for some sort of sound. Then he heard it, his son's laughter coming from the back yard.
He stopped at the back door when he saw Bailey and Gene, sitting on the grass facing each other, feet touching and rolling a big red ball to each other.
"Yay!! You got that one all the way to me!" Bailey cheered.
Gene clapped his hands excitedly.
Gary made his way outside and approached his family.
"Daddy!!" Gene cried, when he spotted Gary walking across the yard. He got up and ran towards his dad.
"Hey, partner," Gary greeted as he squatted down and wrapped one arm around his son and picked him up, keeping the other hand behind his back.
"Looks like you're having fun."
"We pway baw."
"I see that," Gary replied as his kissed his son on his head.
"What are you doing home this time of day?" Bailey asked.
"I had a few minutes and I wanted to see my family."
Bailey gave him a peck. "I'm glad you stopped by."
"For you," he said as he held out a pink bag for her. "And for you," he said as he handed a blue bag to Gene, then set him down.
Bailey peeked into the sack before pulling out a white, flop eared, fluffy bunny.
Well, it's actually for our new little one," Gary stated.
"A bunny? What happened to bunnies giving you the willies?" she teased.
"That was if our baby was a boy. We're gonna have a girl," he said, smiling.
"Oh, you think so?"
"Mmm, hmm. Who looks just like you," he said before kissing her gently.
"Daddy, pway wif me," Gene requested as he held up the bottle of bubbles he had pulled from the sack.
"Okay. Oh, by the way... *this* is your gift," he said as he pulled a small box from his back pocket.
"Gary!"
"Oh, just open it," Gary said impatiently as he opened the bottle of bubbles.
"Gary," Bailey sighed, as she opened the box to expose a gold heart shaped locket, on a delicate chain, containing a picture of Gene and Gary. "It's beautiful. Thank you."
"You have given me the greatest gift. Your love and our children. There is nothing on this earth I could buy you that would compare."
Tears welled in her eyes. "Gary, you've given me the same gift and I couldn't ask for more," she said as she placed her hand on his face and kissed him.
"Oooh, bubbles!!" Gene giggled.
Gary and Bailey ended their kiss and turned to look at their son. Gary sat down on a lawn chair and pulled Bailey onto his lap where they watched their son play.
~*~*~*~
"Hi, Lois. Is Bernie there?" Bailey asked as she smiled at Gary who was on the other phone.
"Yes, he is. Is everything okay?" Lois wondered.
"Everything's fine, Mom," Gary answered.
"Gary? What's going on? Why are you on the phone?"
"Mom, just get Dad to pick up the extension," Gary said, impatiently.
Bailey and Gary heard Lois gasp. "Bernie!! Hurry! Grab the other phone."
"What's going on?" Bernie asked as he picked up the hand set.
"Gary and Bailey are on the phone. They have something to tell us," Lois explained.
"What's wrong?" Bernie asked, his voice full of concern.
"Nothing's wrong........ Paw Paw," Gary answered.
Bailey and Gary both pulled the phone away from their ears as Lois screamed.
"You're pregnant?" she cried.
"Yes, we're pregnant, again," Bailey laughed.
"Oh, I'm so happy," Lois said excitedly.
"Dad? What do you think?" Gary wondered.
"Did you say something, son?"
"I asked what you thought."
"About what? I had to switch ears. Your mother's scream busted the ear drum in the other one."
Gary laughed. "You're going to be a grandpa again."
"Well, if that isn't the best news? Congratulations."
"When's the baby due?" Lois asked.
"Late January," Bailey told her.
"Do you want me to make the comforter and all for this baby, like I did Gene? I would love to," Lois gushed.
"If you want to, that would be great. I haven't even thought about any of that yet, we just found out yesterday. I guess we need to move Gene to the other room and then I can redecorate the nursery. I will let you know when I decide on something."
"I'm so excited. Do you want a girl or a boy?" Lois inquired.
"Well, Gary has already decided it's going to be a girl."
"I wouldn't mind a granddaughter," Bernie chimed in.
"We'll do our best to oblige, Dad," Gary said as he wrapped his arm around Bailey.
"We can't do much about that now," she laughed.
"Well, if we don't succeed this time, we'll try, try
again," Gary teased.
"I think we're going to go now," Bailey laughed. "We'll talk to you soon."
They all said their good byes and hung up the phone. Gary took Bailey's hand and led her to the stairs.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
He stopped and turned to face her. "I think we need to keep practicing, just in case this one isn't a tlinelittle girl and we have to try again," he said as he raised an eyebrow.
Bailey placed the back of her hand to her forehead. "Oh, if we must," she sighed.
He grabbed her and pulled her close. "Yes, we must," he replied before capturing her lips with his.
Chapter Four
~July 4~
Bailey opened the oven door and removed the apple pie and set it on the counter to cool. The sweet aroma filled the kitchen and she inhaled deeply, hoping the scent would give her some much needed energy. For some reason, she was feeling very lethargic this morning; this morning of all mornings, when in a few hours her house would be full of friends, celebrating the 4th of July.
Her body wanted to take a break, but she had too much to do yet. She couldn't take the time to slow down. She yelped in pain when Gene rolled a toy fire truck across the kitchen floor and into her ankle. She pulled her leg up and rubbed the throbbing bone.
"Sowwy," apologetic hazel eyes looked up at her.
"It's okay, sweetie," Bailey said as she handed Gene an apple slice for him to snack on. "Go sit over there at your table and eat that while I finish up some stuff."
Gene did as he was told and Bailey began to load the dishwasher. She tucked a stray curl behind her hear, wondering why after all these years her straight hair would go curly. "Hormones," the doctor had told her. But it still seemed strange. Why didn't this happen with Gene? She had been told all pregnancies were different. This one certainly was.
Lost in her thoughts, she methodically loaded the dishwasher. As she bent to place a mixing bowl in the washer a sharp pain stabbed her abdomen.
She dropped the bowl and crossed both her arms over her stomach as she groaned, fighting to keep standing. The pain passed and she grabbed the counter with one hand to steady herself.
"Okay, sweetie. Mommy can take a hint," she said softly as she caressed her stomach.
She walked over to Gene and took his hand. "Come on, let's go lie down on the sofa and take a break."
Eagerly he hopped down off the chair, grabbed his fire truck, and walked with his mother into the living room. Bailey stretched out on the sofa and pulled Gene next to her. He lay still for about half a second before he started to squirm, then slid off the sofa onto the floor. Too tired to bother, Bailey let him walk over to the toy box and bring some of his toys back to the floor by the sofa.
He was playing contentedly when another pain hit her, causing her to draw her knees to her chest. Tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes as her heart raced. Something wasn't right.
She tried to take deep calming breaths and soon the pain passed, but her heart was still beating wildly. What if something was wrong? Should she call the doctor? Should she call Gary? She swung her legs over the side of the sofa and sat up. The pain was completely gone. "You're just being silly," she told herself. "You're just tired."
Gene brought her is favorite stuffed animal. A big green frog that his father had bought for him.
"Hug," he stated simply.
Bailey hugged the frog then handed him back to Gene, who then hugged the frog. "Hey, what about me? I could use one of those hugs," she said.
" 'Kay," he replied as he held out his arms.
Bailey leaned over and pulled him close and he wrapped his small arms around her neck and hugged her tightly, causing her to sigh. "Thank you. That's just what I needed," she said as she let go and Gene went back to playing with his toys.
Bailey leaned back on the sofa, wondering if she should sit there for a while or should she finish up in the kitchen. She looked at her watch--10:30 a.m. She still had plenty of time before anyone showed up, but she didn't want to be rushing around at the last minute.
She placed her hand on the arm of the sofa and tried to stand when another pain hit her. She clenched her jaw tightly, trying not to cry out. She swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat.
"Weeeeeaaawwwwww...weeeeeaaawwwwww!"
Gene was trying to make the sound of a fire engine and the noise was so shrill it made Bailey feel as if her head would burst.
"HUSH!" she snapped, causing Gene's head to jerk around and look at her.
She grabbed the phone off the table next to her and dialed Gary's cell phone.
"He.......o," his voice crackled on the line.
"Gary? Can you hear me?"
"He....... Spe.......up........can.........ear...you."
"Gary? Can you hear me now?" Bailey asked again, raising her voice. "Hello? Hello?"
She clicked the phone, then dialed the number again. This time there was nothing but static.
She hung up the phone and wiped the tears that were running down her cheeks. She took a deep breath. "It's nothing. It's nothing to get worked up over," she said out loud.
She looked up at Gene who sitting quietly hugging his stuffed frog and looking at his mother with a worried expression on his face.
"Mommy?" his tiny voice asked as he watched her double over and cry out.
~*~*~*~
"Chuck! Emily!! What's going on? Where is she?" Gary asked as he burst through the doors of the emergency room.
Gene immediately reached for Gary who took him from Emily's embrace.
"Mommy sick," he said with a worried voice.
"My God! What happened?" Gary asked, needing answers quickly before he totally panicked.
"Bailey called me and said she was having pains. She tried to reach you on your cell phone, but it kept cutting out," Emily explained.
"How is she? Has the doctor told you anything yet?" Gary's voice was shaking with worry and fear, and that unsettled Chuck. He had been with Gary once before when Bailey was in the hospital. That time he'd been sure things would be okay. Today, he wasn't so sure.
"Hobson?" A doctor called out as he entered the room.
"Here!" Gary said as he turned to face the doctor. "How is my wife?"
"Your wife is going to be just fine...." Gary's sigh of relief caused the doctor to pause. "But unfortunately, she did miscarry."
Gary's knees gave way and he sat down, hard on the chair.
"What...what happened?"
"Mommy, 'kay?" Gene asked.
"Yes, sweetie. Mommy's okay. Why don't you go with Uncle Chuck and get some juice?" Emily suggested.
"Come on, buddy. Maybe we can find some cookies too," Chuck said as he took Gene's hand.
He looked back at Gary whose face was frozen in shock.
"Do...does Bailey know?" Gary asked as he gazed, unfocussed across the room.
"Yes, she knows. If you would like to see her now, you may."
"Doctor? Do you know wha...what caused this?"
"You're wife seems to be in perfect health. We'll have to run more tests to be sure of the cause. Sometimes it's just as simple as this was nature's way of taking care of an abnormal fetus."
Gary flinched at the doctor's cold words about his child.
"Wa....was our baby a ....girl?"
"At this stage of the pregnancy, Mr. Hobson, the fetus wouldn't be considered a baby."
Anger flared through Gary as he stood and grabbed the doctor's white coat by the lapel.
"That was my child!! My BABY!"
Emily grabbed his arm. "Gary, calm down," she said softly, but firmly.
Gary slowly released the doctor's jacket.
The doctor cleared his throat. "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to your wife."
"No. I'll need a minute," Gary replied.
"Well, whenever you're ready, just notify one of the nurses and she'll take you to your wife."
Gary sat back down and buried his face in his hands. Emily sat down next to him and placed her hand on his arm. She could feel him trembling.
"Gary, I'm so sorry."
"Oh, God!" he choked out as he turned to face her.
She wrapped her arms around him and he buried his face on her shoulder and cried.
Suddenly Gary pulled away from her. "I can't do this. I have to be strong for Bailey," he said as he wiped tears from his face.
Emily took his hand and squeezed it. She wished she could do more for him.
"I'm gonna go see Bailey, now," he announced as he stood.
"We'll wait for you here," Emily told him.
"Would you mind going back to the house? Mom and Dad will be here soon and they'll worry if no one is there."
"I'll find Chuck and Gene and we'll go wait for your parents and be back soon," Emily reassured him.
Gary nodded before he turned and headed to the nurses station and told them who he was.
One of them directed him to the room Bailey was in.
He took a deep breath before he opened the door and walked in.
Chapter Five
When Gary entered the room, he paused at the sight of his wife curled into a fetal position, her eyes swollen and red.
"Bailey," he whispered.
"Gary!" she hiccupped as she opened her eyes and sat up.
He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, then pulled her into his arms.
"I'm so sorry," she cried.
"Oh, hon. It's not your fault."
"I..I shou..should have called the hos..hospital soo....sooner. I knew
so....something wa....wasn't right."
"Shhh. It's okay...it's okay," he soothed as he caressed her hair.
Gary never imagined how bad it could hurt to lose a child. Especially one that he hadn't gotten a chance to know--or even really gotten use to the fact that one was coming. He knew he needed to be strong for Bailey, and right now that was the hardest thing he'd ever faced.
His child--their child--was gone. The child he would never get to know, would never see grow up. He would never know what that child could have achieved; nor would he ever see the excitement over a first date, or the first car. He would never watch with pride as this child graduated from High School and he'd never see it with a family of it's own.
He tightened his hold on Bailey as she began to cry; deep, body shaking sobs, that tore away at his heart.
Bailey wanted to be strong, but she couldn't. She had failed him; she had lost the child that he was so certain would be a daughter. How could he ever forgive her? How could she forgive herself?
~*~Several days later~*~
Gary slowly opened his eyes and realized Bailey wasn't lying beside him. He looked at the clock and it read 2:22 a.m.
He rubbed his hands across his face before he sat up and got out of bed. He picked up his robe and put it on as he stepped out into the hall. A movement to his left caught his eye and he turned, noticing the door to the nursery was open a crack. Gary dropped his head and sighed. They had moved Gene into the next room last week and had started working on the nursery in preparation for the new baby.
Silently, he walked over and pushed the door open, and looked into the room. He saw Bailey setting in the rocker, hugging the white stuffed bunny to her chest, rocking back and forth slowly.
"Hon? Are you okay?" Gary asked softly.
Startled, she flinched. "Oh, Gary. I didn't hear you," she said as she wiped the tears from her face.
Gary walked over to her and sat down on the floor and took her hand in his.
"The doctor said we could try again. We'll have a daughter one day," he said trying to comfort her.
She snatched her hand from his grasp. "I wanted this child, Gary. Having another child won't replace this one."
"I know that. I...I was just trying..."
"I know what you are trying to do. You're trying to tell me to move on and forget about this. It was just an....an...unfortunate incident," she snapped, her voice full of venom.
"That's what you think I'm thinking about this?
That it was just an unfortunate incident? I thought you knew me better than that," Gary said angrily as he stood and walked out of the room.
Bailey did know better, but she was hurt and angry. Not that Gary wasn't hurting or angry, but he just couldn't understand; it wasn't the same for him.
~*~*~*~
"Morning, Mom," Gary spoke as he walked into the kitchen the next morning.
"Good morning, Gary. Did you rest well?" Lois asked.
"No, not really. Where are Dad and Gene?"
"Gene wanted to play in the sand box, so Bernie took him out back. Did Bailey have a rough night?" Lois asked, a worried frown creasing her brow.
"We both did. I..I don't know what to say to her, Mom," Gary confessed as he poured a cup of coffee. "Everything I say is....it's the wrong thing."
"Oh, honey. It's not you. Bailey's emotions are like a roller coaster right now. If she snaps at you, she doesn't mean it," Lois said as she poured the eggs into the skillet to scramble.
"It sure sounds like she means it," Gary said, under his breath.
Lois placed her hand on his arm. "Bailey's lost a child, Gary."
He pulled away from his mother's touch. "You know what? I lost a child, too!"
"Looks like Bailey isn't the only one lashing out," Lois chastised. "You would both do well to put yourself in each others shoes. But for now, just be forgiving because you are both going to say hurtful things."
"Hmmph! That's comforting."
"You two *will* get through this. Your lives will never be the same, but it doesn't mean they have to end."
Gary nodded his head as he soaked in his mother's advice.
"Talk to your Dad, Gary. He knows what it's like."
"Oh, Mom! I'm sorry. I didn't even think...."
"It's okay, son. It was a long time ago. Your father and I got through it. You and Bailey will too," she offered with an encouraging smile. "Why don't you call Bernie and Gene in for breakfast and I'll get Bailey."
~*~*~
Lois walked out to the back porch and held out a glass of lemonade for Bailey.
Bailey took the glass and smiled wanly. "Thanks, Lois. Where's Gene?" she asked as she looked behind Lois.
"I put him down for his nap. Mind if I join you?"
Bailey shrugged her shoulders.
Lois took a seat and a deep breath.
Bailey squirmed in her chair, she could feel a lecture coming on.
"Bailey," Lois began and Bailey stiffened. "I know this is hard on you and it's only been a few days.......You might not want to talk now, but if you ever do, I'm here for you. You might think I don't understand what you're going through, but I do. I know what it feels like."
Bailey's head snapped around, surprise was evident on her face. "You? You lost a child?" she whispered.
Lois nodded and looked out across the back yard; a far off look in her eyes.
"It happened about two years after Gary was born, and I was close to four months along. I was home alone with Gary and I...tripped on the staircase....and fell," her voice caught and she paused to collect herself. "It was awful. The doctor's told me I would never be able to have any more children. I guess that is why I have always been so protective over Gary. If something had happened to him.....but ....you can...."
"I can have more children," Bailey completed her sentence.
"I know it's too soon, Bailey. But believe me you should be very grateful for that one glimmer of hope."
Bailey looked back out over the yard. "I don't know if I want anymore children. What if it happens again? I don't think I could live through another loss."
Lois reached over and patted Bailey's arm. "You have plenty of time to worry about that. You're young and healthy. Right now I want you to focus on getting through this and letting Gary help you."
Lois felt Bailey stiffen under her touch.
"He's been complaining about me to you, hasn't he?" Bailey asked, coldly.
"He's worried about you. We all are. And I'm worried about Gary, too. You aren't the only one who lost a child," Lois said softly.
"I know that!" Bailey snapped and her eyes flashed angrily at Lois. "I wish everyone would leave me alone!" Bailey said as she got up and left Lois sitting on the back porch, staring after her.
Chapter Six
Gary jogged up the walk to his house and turned the key in the lock. He opened the door and sighed as he shut it behind him. He was so glad to be home. It had been one of those days, full of near miss saves to ungrateful people; culminated by a fight at McGinty's. He had advanced notice, but still wasn't able to stop it before several tables were broken--not to mention chairs and beer mugs.
"Hey, you're still up," he smiled as he saw Bailey sitting on the sofa.
She wore a black cotton nightgown with spaghetti straps and her face was clear of makeup and her hair pulled back in a pony tail.
"God, you're beautiful," he uttered.
She dropped her head and blushed.
Gary walked over and sat down on the coffee table, facing her, and took her hands in his.
"How ya doin'?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "About the same, I guess."
He pulled her hands to his face and rested his cheek on them. "Bailey, tell me what to do to help you. I hate seeing you like this."
She pulled her hands away. "Gary you have the paper and the bar to deal with. This is my problem and I'll handle it. I'm so sick and tired of people telling me I should be out of this funk by now."
The hair on the back of his neck bristled. "Well, you know what I'm sick and tired of? Coming home to you every night and walking on eggshells because no matter what I say, you take offense and bite my head off. We..we both lost a child, and for you to think that I don't have any pain or anger of my own to deal with is just, just plain selfish of you. And frankly I'm tired of it," he said, raising his voice.
Calmly, Bailey stood and looked down at him.
"There's the door. If you're so sick and tired of me, you're more than welcome to leave. It's not like you're around much anyway. The city of Chicago and who ever ends up in that damn paper is always more important than me."
"That's a lie!" Gary said as he stood.
"Really? How many times this past month have you come home late, like tonight?" she accused.
"Maybe it wasn't the paper that kept me away. Maybe it was you."
Bailey squared her jaw and narrowed her eyes.
"Then maybe you shouldn't come home."
Gary raised an eyebrow. "Maybe," he said as he turned and left the living room and made his way up the stairs.
Bailey paced back and forth in the room, so angry she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. It wasn't long before she heard Gary's footsteps coming down the stairs.
She turned to see him standing there with a packed duffle bag. "I'll be at the loft.....if you care."
He turned quickly and had the door shut behind him before what had just happened, registered in Bailey's brain.
~*~*~
Bailey walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of wine, hoping it would calm her nerves. The bottle clanked against the glass as her unsteady hand poured the red liquid. She set the bottle down and picked up the glass, taking a gulp of the liquid and closing her eyes. She took another long gulp before refilling the glass and walking into the living room.
She stood in the middle of the room and clinked her nails against the crystal of the glass. It was too quiet. She needed noise, something to drown out the voice in her head that was screaming at her, "You fool!"
Bailey flipped the switch on the stereo and quickly turned the volume down so it didn't wake Gene. She turned the dial, looking for something to fit her mood.
"That's the way uh huh, I like it, uh huh.........Like a Genie in a bottle, baby, you gotta rub me the right way......She's a beauty, she's one in a million girl......Say she's grounded till she's dead, here he comes around the bend......I wanna rock and roll all night......If it's gonna rain. I hope it pours...Tearin' up my heart...."
Bailey stopped the dial and turned it back one notch.
~Thunder and lightening
Like never before
Cause that's how I feel
Here in my heart
If it's gonna rain
Let the storm start.
If you're gonna leave, go on and go
Don't even look back
When you hit the road
If that's the way you feel about you and me Now's a good time to go on and leave.
~*~*~
Gary had managed to sneak up the back steps and into the loft undetected. He stepped in and flipped on the light. Most everything was in it's original place. When he and Bailey moved into their house they bought new furnishings and had left the old stuff in the loft, thinking one day he would rent it out. He never had, and now he thought of the irony that maybe it had been left empty for his fated return.
He walked over to the bed and dropped his bag there and placed his hands on his hips as he surveyed the room. He had lived here almost 5 years and had liked it. It was his place, decorated to his liking. But as he looked around, he realized it lacked the warmth of his and Bailey's home. God, he missed her already.
Maybe he should go back home. Maybe he should call. Maybe he didn't know what to do.
He ran his hands through his hair as he walked over to the window and leaned against the frame and gazed at the lights of the city.
He could hear the low hum from the juke box downstairs, loud enough to be annoying, but yet, not loud enough to make out the song. He walked over to the radio and flipped it on, scanning the stations quickly, before stopping when he heard these words.
~If that's how you feel about you and me now's a good time
so go on and leave
I'd never been one for doing something halfway I've loved you with all my heart
but it's all been in vain
It's gonna hurt, cut to the bone
Break my heart in two
when you move on
I'm gonna cry
a river of tears
It's gonna rain and rain and rain
around here for years~
A few miles apart in actual distance, but thousands of miles apart in their hearts. Bailey and Gary both sat on sofa's in two different places, listening to the same song....
~If it's gonna rain
let the storm start
It it's gonna rain
I hope it pours~
......each, with a broken heart.
Chapter Seven
"Meow!" *Thump*
Gary jerked awake and groaned as he moved. He had fallen asleep on the sofa and now he had a doozy of a crick in his neck.
He looked around the room, through blurry eyes, confused as to where he was. He raised a hand to rub his eyes, it was all coming back not him now. The fight, his leaving and coming here..... He stood and staggered, bumping against the coffee table, causing several empty beer bottles to fall to the floor..... And the drinking.
After the bar had closed, he went downstairs and brought several bottles of the brew back upstairs with him. It had been a long time since he'd had a hangover and now he remembered why he tried to avoid them.
"Meow!"
"Hang on a minute," he grumbled. The sound vibrating in his head. He opened the door to see the cat looking up at him.
"How do you always know where I'm gonna be?"
"Meow."
"Just once, I'd like a straight answer from you."
Gary stooped to pick up the paper; the movement causing the pressure in his head to increase. As he stood, he placed his palm to his forehead and groaned. He stayed that way for a moment before he opened the paper, half expecting the headline to read, 'Idiot Bar Owner Makes Worst Decision of His Life.'
He tossed the paper on the table. "I'll deal with you after a shower," he said as he made his way across the loft.
~*~*~*~
"Mommy? Mommy?" Gene gently patted his mother's arm.
"Mommy?" he repeated, before she opened her eyes.
She sat up and blinked rapidly. "Hey, sweetie. What are you doing up? Couldn't sleep?"
"Smornin," he said as his brow wrinkled.
Bailey looked up to see the sun filtering in through the windows of the living room.
"You 'kay?" he asked.
"Hmm?" she mumbled as she tried to clear her foggy brain. She sighed when she remembered Gary was gone. Maybe he'd came back? No, if he had, she wouldn't still be on the sofa.
On the sofa--in the living room! She looked down at her young son. "How did you get down here?" she asked, her voice laced with panic.
"Staiws," he replied simply as he crawled into her lap and wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. "Me kiss it and make it fwee betta."
Bailey wrapped her arms around her son and fought against the tears that threatened to pour from her eyes. She had been so lost in her misery that she had fallen asleep on the sofa and had failed to put the guard across the top of the stairs. If Gene would have fallen down those stairs......She quickly dismissed that thought, for it was more than she could handle this morning.
She had to get a grip on herself. She swore to herself that she would never get so lost in herself that her child would have to suffer.
"Thew. Aw betta?" Gene asked as he pulled back,
Bailey stroked his hair. "Yes, punkin. You always make me feel better."
"Good. Come fwix bweakfas," he said as he took her hand and slid off her lap.
"Whar's Daddy?"
Bailey stopped in mid stride and looked down at her son. "He...he's, uh, already left for work."
" "kay," Gene replied, satisfied with the answer.
~*~*~
Marissa cocked her head as she heard footsteps coming down the stairs from the loft.
"Gary?"
Gary stopped dead in his tracks. "Damn!" he muttered under his breath. He'd hoped to be downstairs before Marissa came in.
"Mornin' Marissa," he said as he turned into the office.
"What were you doing in the loft?" she asked.
Gary continued walking, until he reached the coffee pot in the kitchen, and filled a mug. Then he returned to the office for his inquisition.
"Gary? What's going on?"
"Bailey and I had a fight last night. I slept here," he told her bluntly.
"Have you called and apologized yet?"
"Why should I have to apologize? I wasn't the one...I'm not the one who....It was her fault," Gary said angrily as he slammed his mug down on the desk, causing coffee to slosh out.
"It's just that Bailey's been through so much lately, it might be nice if you made the offer first. Even if the fight wasn't your fault."
Gary held up his hand, even though Marissa couldn't see him. "Stop right there! I lost a child too in case you've forgotten. And yes, I realize it's different because I wasn't the one carrying the child, but it was still my child and I feel the loss too."
"Of course you do, Gary."
"Then how come everyone is worried about Bailey? No one is concerned about me. When did I become invisible?" Gary asked as he threw his hands in the air.
"I'm sorry, Gary. I didn't realize you felt this way. Maybe you and Bailey should talk to someone about this," Marissa suggested.
"A shrink?"
"Yes. Or a marriage counselor. Someone, Gary. I'm worried about the both of you. The two of you are fighting, you're sleeping in the loft. This isn't good."
"I appreciate your concern, Marissa. But I'm not going to some stranger and telling them all our problems. I think a few days apart will do us both some good. Right now we're both on edge and we can't be in the same room without being at each other's throat. A few days apart is just what we need."
"Gary, I don't think...."
"Marissa, I know you have a psych degree, but this is my marriage, not yours. I appreciate your concern, I do, but let me handle this," he said, an edge to his voice.
"Okay, Gary. You do what you think is best."
Chapter Eight
Bailey opened the door to the bar and walked in. She looked around nervously, checking to see if she could spot Gary.
"Hello, Mrs. Hobson."
Startled, she jumped. "Oh, hello, Jake. Is Gary here?"
"In the office."
"Thank you," she smiled as she let Gene down and took hold of his hand.
She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, before opening the door to the office.
"Daddy!" Gene cried out as soon as he saw his father. He let go of Bailey's hand and launched himself into Gary's arms.
"Hey, partner. How ya doin'?"
"I miss ew!" Gene stated as he wrapped his arms around Gary's neck.
"I missed you too, son."
Bailey crossed her arms and leaned against the divider.
Gary's eyes finally met hers. "Hello."
"Hello," she replied, coolly.
"When ya comin' home?" Gene wanted to know.
Gary's eyes never left Bailey's, hoping for an invitation. She raised an eyebrow.
Gary patted Gene's back. "I think Chuck is in the kitchen. Why don't we see if we can find him and you say hello?"
" 'Kay."
"I'll be right back," Gary said as he passed her.
Bailey walked over and sat down on the sofa and waited. Gary returned shortly and shut the door behind him, then walked over and set down at the desk.
"I...I'm sorry I haven't called. It's been crazy around here and I wasn't sure..."
"That's okay, Gary. You made your feelings perfectly clear the other night. I brought Gene to see you because he missed you. No matter what happens with us, I hope you won't let it interfere with your relationship with Gene."
"Bailey, you don't..." Gary interjected, but Bailey kept right on talking. If she stopped now, she'd never say what she came to say.
"I have no intentions of keeping you from seeing each other. Gene loves you too much. I was thinking if you could make arrangements with Chuck so you can be free on weekends, or every other weekend, I'll bring Gene by here and leave him with you. We do need to decide on what we want to tell him. So far, I've explained your absence by telling him you've already left for work or that you came home after he was in bed. I can't do that forever."
Gary sat in stunned silence as he listened to what she said. He ran his hand over the back of his head. "You..you're saying you don't want me to come home?" he asked in disbelief.
Bailey dropped her eyes and twisted the strap on her purse. "Gary, I think it's best that we....that you...stay here for now."
Gary let out a deep breath. "What I said the other night...."
"You were right," Bailey interrupted. "I understand that you don't want to be around me. I don't like being around me either. I have some things I need to work through and I can't do them while we're together."
"Bailey.....I don't think....." Gary began, finding, all of a sudden, when Bailey repeated almost the same thing he'd told Marissa, that it wasn't such a good idea after all.
"Gary, I've made up my mind."
"Are you wanting a .....?" he swallowed hard.
"No!" she paused and her voice was much softer when she spoke again. "I just need this time to sort things out. Like I said before, I won't keep you and Gene apart," she said as she stood and turned to walk out of the office.
Gary stood quickly and grabbed her arm and spun her around.
Bailey bit the inside of her lip in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. It was much easier to keep her resolve when she wasn't standing close enough to feel him and look in his eyes. She dropped her gaze and tried to pull away from him.
He pulled her closer and placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. "Look at me, Bailey," he ordered.
Reluctantly she looked up at him.
"Do you still love me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Her eyelids flickered. "Gary, it's...."
He cut her off by placing his mouth over hers. She tried to fight the wave of desire that coursed through her body at his touch. With a sharp intake of breath, she pulled away from his grasp and wiped the tears from her face.
"I'm sorry. I've made up my mind. Let me know when you want to see Gene and I'll bring him by."
She turned and opened the door to the kitchen and walked through, shutting it softly behind her.
Gary set back down at his desk and rubbed his hands over his head and cursed himself. His head snapped up as the door opened. Gene ran back into the office and crawled into Gary's lap.
"We go now," Gene said sadly.
Gary pulled him close and hugged him tightly. "I'll see you soon," he promised as he put Gene down.
Chuck ruffled Gene's hair as he passed him on the way into the office.
"What's going on, buddy?" Chuck asked.
Gary placed his hand over his mouth and rested his elbow on the desk.
"Gar? This doesn't look good. Bailey was crying. What happened?" Chuck asked again.
"Looks like I'll be staying in the loft a while longer," Gary answered.
Chuck groaned. "Come on, Gar. What's the matter with you? You can't stay here? You need to be at home with your wife and son."
"You're giving me marital advice?" Gary asked sarcastically.
"Fine, be a smart ass. But you know I'm right," Chuck countered.
"Yeah, I know you're right. But how do I convince Bailey? She thinks we need the time apart. Maybe she's right. Maybe if we're apart for a while, we'll realize we really miss each other and things will work out," Gary mused.
"Yeah, or out of sight, out of mind," Chuck grumbled under his breath.
"You know, Chuck. You're not helping."
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